The one thing my crappy boyfriend and I have in common is our very active sex life. I just gotta have it and so does he; no holds bar. When things are good we average about once a day. My girlfriend says its unnatural. I am so physically attracted to him (obviously since I'm pregnant) that depending on what he has on, when we argue I cant always focus on what he's saying; the muscles in his arms puts me into a trance like state and when he grabs me to ask me if I'm listening, it takes my breath away.
But things have been so uptight with us lately. It's the baby thing. It wasn't exactly planned and he thinks we can't afford another baby and he's too young to have another baby. Which might be true but I'm of the mind that there's nothing we can do about it now; can't go back in time. We should have been more careful. But all of this is for another discussion. My point now is that for the last month or so we have not been very active in the bedroom and with my high sex drive, by the third day I am a grouch. Not to mention with my changing body my insecurity level has doubled!!!!
So here we are day 4 and I think I'm bout to loose it. I hear him come in from work and I'm lying on the bed watching one of his shows. He comes into the bedroom and makes some comment about me wanting to be like him because I'm watching his show and I laugh it it off and say something corny in response, but I'm thinking, "Okay, so at least he's talking to me. I'll try something else." He's a construction worker so he usually takes a shower when he first comes home. When he gets out the shower I snatch his towel and he chases me for a bit and we have a little laugh and I'm thinking, "good. I'll make my move."
So he leaves for a while, like most nights, usually to get a beer or two or watch whatever sports game is on at the bar down the street, with some friends. While he's gone, I hop in the shower and quickly shave wherever I can still reach and rub my smell good lotion all over me. I have two little cotton spaghetti strapped teddy's that I wear when I want to look sexy; a black one and a pink one. Now I haven't put either of them on in a few months, because we haven't done anything special in a while, but I'm thinking today I need the big guns. So I put on the black one and stare at myself in the mirror. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the whale that is staring back at me. My boobs are spilling over the cups, the back is so stretched that it's making little rolls on the sides and the front is about 2 inches higher in then the back. It looks like I swallowed one of Fred Flintstones pterodactyl eggs. Then my daughter comes down stairs and says, "Oh mommy you look so cute." And I'm like "You think so?" And she's like, "Yes, that looks good on you." Then she goes about her business. So I trust my little nine year old and chalk up my impression of myself to hormones and nervousness.
So about an hour later, I'm leaning on my dresser, talking on the phone when he comes in. He's about to say something but stops short when he sees me. He has this look on his face. I don't know if the look is "What is she wearing?" or if it's, "What, is she wearing?" so he says nothing at all and walks in the room. I leave the room so I can wrap up my conversation. He takes his clothes off, turns off the lights and gets into the bed. Now I'm really starting to panic.
I noticed he left the t.v. on for me because I like to watch a little t.v. before I fall asleep. But now I'm scared that I made a mistake and that my daughter told me I look nice because she's nine and doesn't know any better, when actually I look like a rhinoceros. So I stall. I call my daughter down to get ready for bed. I make her take a shower even though she begged me to let her wait until the morning, then I go clean up the kitchen which I already did when I put the food away, but thought I saw a spot on the counter so I clean it again.
Finally, I go in the bedroom and get in the bed. I could jump his bones, but the rejection I would feel if he pushed me away is almost too unbearable to think about. I turn the t.v. to King of Queens (its either that or Family Guy) and settle into the show. Half hour later I click the t.v. off and turn over on my side thoroughly disappointed, when all of a sudden I feel a hand wrap around my waist. He pulls me to him and a night that I thought was over was just beginning. To top things off, in the morning when his alarm clock went off, he flipped me over and started all over again. So he leaves to go to work (I don't have to get up for another two hours) and I 'm rolling around in our sex laden sheets and the smile on my face is unmeasurable and my body is humming with bliss and I cant help but to give kudos to the not so crappy boyfriend after all!
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